...so
you need to get used to it.”
Last year when I
heard this comment from a manager (and colleague), I smiled because I could
relate with it. I remember so well - as if it happened yesterday...
A few years ago, I had the opportunity and privilege of inheriting a team. From the onset, I
acknowledged and shared with the team that I'm sure that I'll be different from
their previous Manager. I knew that because when I was being hired, my manager
clearly told me that he needed a "Leader" not a ‘Doer’ - and of
course I needed to do the job I had been hired for.
So it was really interesting to hear how many times different or the
same team members remarked 'That’s not how XXXX did it.’ At times I let it
go like water off a duck’s back and sometimes I responded saying 'I’m not
XXXX.’
What really baffled and amused me about it was that I was challenging and
encouraging them to think and take more initiative. If/when someone came to me
with a problem, I'd ask what the person thought or suggested we should do. Then
I would either send them back to think up a solution to present it to me or
work through the steps with them so they get to the solution themselves. I used
to say: "Come to me with solutions - or at least suggestions - to problems
you encounter" because I strongly believe that we all have the ability of
solving problems (even if we are the problem). And that is the way I
operate and it has helped me as a develop myself and others.
So of course, I couldn't afford to change who I am. Can you imagine not being
yourself? What a phony and unfulfilling way to live! In fact, in the words of
another manager, 'I’m willing to meet you halfway but not three-quarters of the
way.’
About 18 months later, when some of them were transferred to a new manager, one
of them came to me and said, 'Thank you for all you made us do. You made me to
start using my brain and doing things I enjoyed doing.’ I smiled and said:
'That's good to hear.’
Lesson learned: Stay true to yourself... especially if as a leader you truly
desire to see others become better versions of themselves.
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