#WorkingFromHome

Working from home is not the preferred way of working - especially when your children are home from school.

It helps when everyone is helping...

Your ASK...

...determines what you get.

Who are you mentoring?

Many people think that they cannot be mentors. Nothing is further from the truth. Each one of us has something to give. In giving that, we get more to give more...

What's your mindset?

Happy New Year!!! As we step into this leap year, leap and have a growth mindset

Shared by Frédérick Audet on Facebook

"You should talk to..."

Last year, I was talking to someone about some career matters and decisions. The person, "wisely", suggested that I talk to someone else - to get more information and possible guidance.

When I finally met the person, we had a good conversation that resulted in an interesting discovery. The more we talked, the more obvious it became that the person needed me more than I did. Instead of pulling back, I switched gears to my purpose in life which is to help others be their best selves.

Over a couple months, when I could, I was available as a mentor and a life coach. It was amazing all that I learned from this experience. Summing it up, to empower another person, you need to care.





To empower another person, it is important to make a Connection.
Making a real connection starts from your inside out. Over the years, I've found that my heart, head and hands have to be connected and aligned when relating to others. And the more connected they are, the more mutually-beneficial those relationships have been.







For external connection to exist, one has to be Approachable. Synonyms include: frank, accessible, communicative and easy to talk to. To be effective, you need to be a friendly face who is available, ready and easy to talk to. There's no value in being available to talk to if you are not ready or easy to talk to etc.   

The connection and approachability need to be unpinned by the Real you. Another and more common synonym for "real" is "authenticity" and all about being yourself. I like the way Edwin Elliot put the importance of authenticity: "By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before." When you do that, you empower others to do the same. 








Leaders have been encouraged to develop Emotional Intelligence as a way to better connect with others. Whether or not you accept it, we are all first emotional beings before we are intellectual beings. It's just that some family upbringing and societal norms suppress our emotional side and highlight our intellectual side.  Everyone, not just leaders, has to be emotionally intelligence. It is amazing how you can show true are with it. 

Looking back, these 4 attributes helped me in relating with and empowering very many people.

If you or someone you know needs CARE or needs to develop CARE, contact me for coaching via LinkedIn or email - 1st ½ hour will be free...

Passion is not enough

...it must be supported by action.

This topic has been on my mind for several years and I've kept putting it off because I did not quite have the content. Now, I have more to say (and show) about this.

As you may know, I'm passionate about a lot of things. For instance, I really enjoy writing creatively and at my husband's instance - more like insistence, I started on and recently finished and published my first book: "101 Quips & Quotes…that will charge and change your life" 

In fact now, I even run Creative Writing Coaching Workshops.

Passion is a great starting point...not an ending point otherwise you will never fulfill your potential.

As we start the last quarter of this year, I encourage and actually challenge you to think deeply about what you're passionate about and then ask yourself, "What have I done/can I do about it?"

You can take action now to see your passion furthered and your potential fulfilled. 

If you need "help", take action, book one or more of our services by clicking here.

Eagle or

"Ego-ed"?

I've been wanting to write and publish this piece in my Pastoral* blog but the piece didn't flow until I heard the Lord say "This is a topic for your Professional blog" i.e. this one, not the Pastoral or Personal** one and then elements came together. So here we go...

C.U.P.- capacity

A few weeks ago, thinking about people who say that they are "calm under pressure", my attention was drawn to the first letter of each word...which spells "CUP".

We all know what a cup is. This knowledge led me to wonder what the overall CUP - capacity of those who are calm under pressure is.

Cups come in different sizes...and pressure comes with different levels of intensity hence your C.U.P. - capacity is a determinant for handling pressure successfully.

Here are 3 things I do to cope which have helped me increase my C.U.P. - capacity:

1. Consider what my options are and the possible outcomes would be. In other words, what would happen if I do nothing or do something? What if I do something which is not the right thing?
2. Open myself to understand the (potential) interests of and (possible) impact on the other people involved. Understanding these help me determine if I need to reach out to others for support or not. It also helps me assess my options.
3. Pace myself this includes my words and actions because pressure always passes. In pacing myself, I focus on distinguishing my emotions from the actual situation as there are times that our emotions exaggerate the impact of the situation.
4. Ensure that I maintain positive thoughts and do my best to arrive at a future-focused solution. It is important to focus on what will matter about the situation in 6 hours, 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months, 6 years or even 6 decades from today.

One thing to remember about your C.U.P.-capacity is that if you tip over, what's in you will spill out. So long before pressure comes is the time to build your C.U.P.-capacity.

I'd be interested in hearing how you manage your C.U.P. - capacity.

Interested?

A few months ago as we were preparing to head out for a morning walk, my husband started offering me a gadget to assist me. He then said, "If you are going to be doing this, you need to invest in some things." I fully agree(d) with him.

As we walked, the thought that crossed my mind was "Interest inspires investment!"

What's your balance?

We're now right into summer time...a time when some people slow down and when some don't.

The workplace is riddled with material and meetings about work-life balance.

Work-life balance means different things to different people. The important thing is that without life, you cannot work. So ensure that you take care to live* not just work.

*See post on "I live"

It's all up to you...

Over the years, and more recently when coaching my clients, I have heard people incessantly compare themselves to others - in various areas of life. Well, I have even caught myself doing that!

The point of life is that everyone has a unique "life-map", such that even identical twins cannot have identical lives. There is no basis for comparison. Comparison is a total waste of time because it makes you expend energy competing with others who are steadily improving themselves.

If you must compare yourself to and compete with anyone else, compare yourself to yourself - daily.

Who you are, or who you are not is all up to you. You have control over who you are and who you become. Look in the "mirror" and make the necessary adjustments to your attributes and attitudes.

Learnings from my sunglasses...

A few months ago, as I put on one of my favourite sunglasses I smiled as I looked at the "screwstopper" on the left side.

"I live"...

...I mean "I leave."

Don't be fooled...

...any one who doesn't LEAD is not a leader

I have said it countless times that everyone is and can be a leader. You do not need to have a title to be a leader. With that as our backdrop, this post will focus on 4 ways I believe that leaders show up.

Live in and enjoy the moment:
Too many of us are rushing from one task to the other... Always moving quickly to the next thing. I agree that time does not wait for anyone however, enjoying the time you are in is what makes memories. How many times have you gone somewhere and when others are recounting the experience you wonder if you were even there with them? The common saying "stop and smell the roses" comes to mind. Leaders take charge. This includes knowing when and how to slow down to live in and enjoy the moment - and they encourage those around them to do the same.


Enable others to be their best:  The world has become more and more competitive. It has become so bad that in some situations people - including their managers/leaders - are actively putting others down in order to lift themselves up. As leaders, we must never look down on others except we are helping them up. One quote I live by is this one by James Keller...it's so true. Imagine a room full of lit candles.
The world is definitely a brighter and better place when more people shine...leaders light and help others shine bright.


Appreciate those around you: I know that this is not in some people's radar. Essentially their thoughts are: "Why do I need to appreciate you for doing what you are paid to?" or something like that? I know that there a number of people who are not into the "touchy-feely" stuff and that is partially okay. This quote articulates the way to get performance to the next level. Beyond that, truly and regularly appreciating those around you is the right thing to do as a leader. The way I see it, when you appreciate people for their value, they appreciate in value...to you and the organization and everyone wins.

Deliberately give the present of your presence: Competing and conflicting priorities are sometimes the order of the day, the week or even of the role. I have found that you cannot give your best self to a task if you are not fully present or engaged in it. As much as it may be encouraged and done, multitasking is very tasking. As leaders, it is important to pay full attention to the people around you. You cannot afford to be distracted when talking to people especially in a one-on-one meetings. With each person you interact/meet with, they need to feel that they are the most important person at that time. Give them the present of your undivided presence.

There are many other ways that leaders do/should show up. Real leaders - worth emulating - do not waste time fooling themselves or anyone else. They are authentic role models in many ways especially as they LEAD.

The Act...

...and art of leading

When this topic dropped in my heart, I took a few weeks to mull over it. As I started writing it up, it seemed best to first define these words:

Act: "take action; do something. (verb); a thing done; a deed (noun)."*

Art: "the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power."*

A lot has been writing about leadership and it is a very important topic in my mind and experience.

There's the ongoing debate on whether leaders are born or made. In my opinion, everyone is a leader - it has nothing to do with whether you have a formal title or not. Taking it a step further, each of us can (and should) develop our leadership skills to become better leaders - of our selves and/or of others.

The ACT of leadership highlights the importance of doing something - anything to become a better person - and/or to help others become better versions of themselves...doing nothing is not an option.

The ART of leadership speaks to the importance of creativity in leading others. I have found that the best leaders show how to develop themselves (by example) and let others participate in their self-development. It's all about creatively applying yourself and demonstrating emotional power and emotional intelligence that appreciates and is appreciated by those who interact with you/them. 

 
Personally, combining the act and art of leading has made me a successful leader in the different areas and aspects of my life. It's a fruitful and fulfilling leadership path.

It would be my privilege to serve you and chat some more if you (and/or someone you know) need coaching in this area. You can reach me by email or LinkedIn.



Reference:
* Google (emphasis mine)

How are you showing up?

This question came to mind as I found the answer to the question: What or who is the source of your strength(s)? It could be a combination of people and situations. And it is important to realize that strengths exist for a reason.

Reverse Mentoring

One thing I have learned being a Leader that is that "The Leader does not know everything" - nor is she/he expected to. Now I know that in reality a lot of supervisors/managers were "promoted" into leadership positions because of their technical knowledge, skills and sometimes tenure in the organization - however that's not what will keep them successful.

Take a deep breath... I'm not saying that you should forget or unlearn what you already know - besides the fact that that's not really possible, they are part of your "foundation" so don't crack it.

All I'm saying is open yourself up to learn more - and new things. There is a sharp difference between Leaders and Managers/Supervisors - and many people including me*, have written about them.

One tip that I have employed which has helped me succeed is "Reverse Mentoring." Huh?! What's that?! Glad you had that reaction...it's exactly the same reaction a Senior Leader had when I shared with him that I was now in a new area and needed to learn a lot about. I proceeded to share with him that I had told my team members that I was new to the area and would expect "reverse mentoring." It sounded preposterous to him - his face said it all. "You mean you want your staff to "mentor" you?" He shook his head in disbelief so I proceeded to break it down for him. By the time I was done, he couldn't but agree that my idea was a good one. And if I may add, it was an idea that came from a place of humility.

So what is Reverse Mentoring? Simply put, it is learning from your team members - or others who may be surbordinate to or younger than you. The most successful leaders are those who know that life-long learning is key to progress (and promotion). They also know that if you manage your staff/team members well, they will manage the work - like one of my managers taught me a few years ago. So taking an interest in their work and understanding how and why they do what they do will increase your connection to them and your content.

"Learning and Leadership are indspensable from each other."  

~ John F. Kennedy

.

This is true; the minute a leader realizes then accepts this and has the humility to learn from others, whoever those others are, then he/she has set themselves up for success.

Enjoy the rest of the Mentoring Month!

References:
* Leader vs. Manager articles:
- Which are you?
 - I may not be what you're used to

O.A.R.

O.A.R? Yes oar. I'm sure that we know that an oar is "a pole with a flat blade, pivoting in an oar lock, used to row or steer a boat through the water."* But it means more than that for me.

A few weeks ago, when I thinking about  surviving crisis and the words "overcoming adversity resiliently" came to mind. You may notice that the first letter of each word spells "Oar." 

I decided to write about this because it's an important matter to discuss because adversity will come to you whether or not you are expecting it.

We expect people to overcome their adversities however, it is important for us to overcome them resiliently. 

Being resilient is the ability to withstand and/or recover (quickly) from difficult or challenging situation. Reading Robert H. Schuller's book "Tough times never last, tough people do!" published in 1983 highlights the importance of being resilient.

Jamais Cascio put it differently:

"Resilience is about being able to overcome the unexpected. 

Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive."

Sometimes we just want to survive challenges (i.e. bouncing back) versus focusing on how to bounce back higher. However, the way to truly fulfill our purpose in life is to not just bounce back but to bounce back higher...

This is where the oar concept comes in. An oar is an instrument that helps rowers through the water - irrespective of how stormy it may be. Likewise being resilient is what keeps us going and overcoming adversity despite how challenging the situation is.

I'm sure that you have heard the saying "don't rest on your oars" - which means don't be relax after achieving a goal. On the flip side, we should not stay down if we've been "put down" by adversity.

As the year winds down, take the time to look back and if you've had any adversities as I have, remember your oar and overcome adversities resiliently. Keep rowing. Keep going. You can do it!  

Sources:
*Google
Picture: Yellowstone raft

The grass is greener...is it? - 2

Here are the other 2 things I have learned about "greener" grass - where it is grass

Servant Leadership

The Corporate world is full of buzz-words. "Servant-Leadership" is one of such buzz words that are in vogue for a period and then they fizzle out. However, Servant-Leadership is one that should not fizzle out and the reason is simple: "Servant leadership is a philosophy and set of practices that enriches the lives of individuals, builds better organizations and ultimately creates a more just and caring world."*

It is interesting to note that even the son of the wisest king that ever lived got this advice:

“If you will be a servant to this people, be considerate of their needs and respond with compassion, work things out with them, they’ll end up doing anything for you.”**

For those of us who know the rest of the story, we'd remember that he didn't take the advice and lost the kingdom altogether. If you don't, I suggest you read the full story - see below for the source.

This principle was very clearly depicted in an article I read recently on LinkedIn titled: 
Better to have a GOOD BOSS in a bad company, rather than a BAD BOSS in a good company ! Agree ?

The bottom-line is

“Only secure leaders exhibit servanthood.” - John C. Maxwell***

"The best leaders desire to serve others, not themselves." – Joe Heho***

References:

*https://www.greenleaf.org/what-is-servant-leadership/

** 1 Kings 12:7 - The Message

*** https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6423053154635509760