Have it all?

It's been over 6 years since the article Why women still can't have it all was published. It's amazing how that phrase has sparked various conversations* since the article** with that phrase in it's title.

Let's take a step back and ask: 

"What does it really mean for any person - woman or man - to "have it all"? 

Ever since that article was published there have been very many puts and takes from those 3 words. For me, each word is significant. When we say "have" - which means "possess or own" - are we talking about total ownership forever or momentarily? And who defines what "it all" is for you?

One thing I know from experience is that what, or shall I say, all that I want to have - be it in my marriage, family, career, ministry and social life - has differed depending on my age and stage of life.

When we talk about having it all, I partially agree with Elizabeth Novara that: 

"It’s really attitudes that have to change, not women’s ambitions."*** 

The reason why I partially agree is that our ambitions in life have to align with where we are in life. Beyond that, it also has to align with where those around us are in life. For instance, there are times in a child's when his/her mother and father need to be nearby and at other times when she (and/or he) has to be easily accessible. And this differs from person to person - this is only one variable too.

For me, this whole conversation about having it all is at odds with the "Opportunity Cost" concept. It is truly not possible to have it all because for everything you say "Yes" to, you are saying "No" to another thing. So like Elizabeth Novara said, our attitudes need to change. We need to accept that as the wiseset man who ever lived said: "There is a time for everything."****

What we each need to figure out for ourselves is: "What time is it?" and what do we need to have/do at this time. Then give it our 100% - with appropriate trade-offs. You cannot allow someone else or the soceity determine what "it all" is for you. You need to know what will make you happy and help you fulfill your purpose on earth and go after it...


Sources:
* Why PepsiCo CEO Indra K. Nooyi Can't Have It All
The 'Having It All' Debate Convinced Me to Stop Saying 'Having It All'
**Why women still can't have it all
*** April Feature Review: “Why Women Still Can’t Have it All”
**** Ecclesiastes 3:1