O.A.R.

O.A.R? Yes oar. I'm sure that we know that an oar is "a pole with a flat blade, pivoting in an oar lock, used to row or steer a boat through the water."* But it means more than that for me.

A few weeks ago, when I thinking about  surviving crisis and the words "overcoming adversity resiliently" came to mind. You may notice that the first letter of each word spells "Oar." 

I decided to write about this because it's an important matter to discuss because adversity will come to you whether or not you are expecting it.

We expect people to overcome their adversities however, it is important for us to overcome them resiliently. 

Being resilient is the ability to withstand and/or recover (quickly) from difficult or challenging situation. Reading Robert H. Schuller's book "Tough times never last, tough people do!" published in 1983 highlights the importance of being resilient.

Jamais Cascio put it differently:

"Resilience is about being able to overcome the unexpected. 

Sustainability is about survival. The goal of resilience is to thrive."

Sometimes we just want to survive challenges (i.e. bouncing back) versus focusing on how to bounce back higher. However, the way to truly fulfill our purpose in life is to not just bounce back but to bounce back higher...

This is where the oar concept comes in. An oar is an instrument that helps rowers through the water - irrespective of how stormy it may be. Likewise being resilient is what keeps us going and overcoming adversity despite how challenging the situation is.

I'm sure that you have heard the saying "don't rest on your oars" - which means don't be relax after achieving a goal. On the flip side, we should not stay down if we've been "put down" by adversity.

As the year winds down, take the time to look back and if you've had any adversities as I have, remember your oar and overcome adversities resiliently. Keep rowing. Keep going. You can do it!  

Sources:
*Google
Picture: Yellowstone raft

VIBE

What comes to mind when you hear the word: "Vibe"? Everyone gives off different vibes and I, like most of you, prefer positive vibes. There is nothing so good as being the source of positive vibes (feelings and energy) in a place - any & every place you are.

Personally, one way I succeed in doing that is by volunteering. If you ask me to define volunteering, I'd use VIBE as a acronym and say: Volunteering Is Being Empowering... 
Voluntering is all about giving of yourself to benefit others...so they can be better.

 I like the way Gillian Anderson puts it: 

"Be of service. Whether you make yourself available to a friend or co-worker, or you make time every month to do volunteer work, there is nothing that harvests more of a feeling of empowerment than being of service to someone in need." 

One thing I know is that women are almost always volunteering - their time, talents, ideas, ears, hands, shoulders and even tears. We need to realize how empowering those moments can be and maximize the value and virtue we carry around with us and/or spread at those times and places. The impact of volunteers is all around us. 

December 5 is International Volunteers Day as declared by the United Nations. So I join the world to thank you for volunteering - and thank you in advance for deciding to and continuing to volunteer. 

Spread the vibe!

P.S. 
If you need ideas on where and how to volunteer (strategically), feel free to reach out to me  via: 
- email: empoweredwomenexcel@gmail.com or 
- LinkedIn message: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adaadelekekelani/

The grass is greener...is it? - 2

Here are the other 2 things I have learned about "greener" grass - where it is grass

The grass is greener...is it? - 1

One fact that cannot be countered is that there is always a very high probability that the grass on the other side is greener. It's all about people's perception and people's perception is their reality. 

I have learned from personal experience that 2 people (even identical twins) can look at the same thing and see different things. Let's test that quickly - feel free to check with a friend/colleague too:

Servant Leadership

The Corporate world is full of buzz-words. "Servant-Leadership" is one of such buzz words that are in vogue for a period and then they fizzle out. However, Servant-Leadership is one that should not fizzle out and the reason is simple: "Servant leadership is a philosophy and set of practices that enriches the lives of individuals, builds better organizations and ultimately creates a more just and caring world."*

It is interesting to note that even the son of the wisest king that ever lived got this advice:

“If you will be a servant to this people, be considerate of their needs and respond with compassion, work things out with them, they’ll end up doing anything for you.”**

For those of us who know the rest of the story, we'd remember that he didn't take the advice and lost the kingdom altogether. If you don't, I suggest you read the full story - see below for the source.

This principle was very clearly depicted in an article I read recently on LinkedIn titled: 
Better to have a GOOD BOSS in a bad company, rather than a BAD BOSS in a good company ! Agree ?

The bottom-line is

“Only secure leaders exhibit servanthood.” - John C. Maxwell***

"The best leaders desire to serve others, not themselves." – Joe Heho***

References:

*https://www.greenleaf.org/what-is-servant-leadership/

** 1 Kings 12:7 - The Message

*** https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:6423053154635509760

Have it all?

It's been over 6 years since the article Why women still can't have it all was published. It's amazing how that phrase has sparked various conversations* since the article** with that phrase in it's title.

Let's take a step back and ask: 

"What does it really mean for any person - woman or man - to "have it all"? 

Lift as you climb

A few months ago I read a very interesting article by Scott Mautz. He shared 12 valuable and value-adding nuggets. I picked 1 and recommend you read the full article:

Lift as you climb.

Rising up the chain is nice. Lifting others up as you do so, with the intent to go beyond success to significance (for the impact you have on others), is better. The position you gain should be used not just to further your own, but to help others improve theirs.

And by the way, success comes back to you when you  help others achieve it.

EW: Being empowered and successful is not of much value if you do not pay it forward by empowering and encouraging others to be successful too - that's what I call "Successful Success". 

I encourage you to be intentional in reaching out to and supporting others achieve their own success. The main reason why I say so is because a successful person in the midst of unsuccessful people is technically unsuccessful. Yes...  

When you think about it, you'll realize that others' lack of success can create a strain on your success -  this may already have happened to you. 

Helping others be successful is both for their own good and for yours. 

You can contact me for a free  ½ hour Individual or Group Coaching Session on how to #LiftAsYouClimb; send an email to:  empoweredwomenexcel@gmail.com

Which Zone are you in?

A few weeks ago, I attended a Lunch hour session and had to park on the street. When I went to the Pay Machine, I entered the digits of the Zone in the wrong order - so had to recheck it and reenter it. The lady in line after me quipped "It's sometimes difficult to remember the number right." I smiled.

I believe that I had that experience a week before I was going to be prompted to write this post because this story came to mind as I started to write this piece. It is easy to remember numbers and things you are familiar with. Conversely, it takes an effort (sometimes it takes a stretch) to remember numbers and things you are not familiar with (as with the Parking Zone number). If it was my usual Parking Zone, it would be a place I'm 'comfortable' and I would have remembered the number easily...

L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P. - (3 of 3)

Talking some more about Leadership, you may remember that I published a series of posts 2 years ago titled: L.E.A.D.E.R (see links below). 

This is the final part of Rita Balian Allen's article. Comments in green font and pictures are mine.

Top Ten Competencies of Leadership (cont'd):

Sense of Humor - always keep things in perspective, maintain a balanced and grounded outlook at all times, use laughter and humor appropriately as an effective stress releaser as well as team builder; smile and laugh often appreciating the positive in all situations
EWE: One area where having a sense of humour has served me well is highlighting learning and "laughing" points when something doesn't go as well as expected. It is definitely a stress reliever - and releaser.

High Standards of Excellence - set a tone for high standards of excellence; display behaviors that create trust and credibility; maintain the highest level of integrity, honesty and sincerity; be genuine with your intentions; hold a high bar for acceptable standards, expectations, norms and behaviors and do not tolerate anything less than the highest of standards
EWE: Colin Powell said "Excellence is not an exception; it is a prevailing attitude." I fully agree. 
For this to be a prevailing attitude, it has to be a daily example. You cannot and should not expect excellence of your team members or others if you cannot consistently show them "how" it is done.

Influencing - develop a deep understand of the needs of all stakeholders, rally involvement and participation, make the connections and link for everyone involved; address their needs and gain their support; be the catalyst for change to impact results and communicate in a way that engages responsiveness and commitment by all
EWE: My definition of Influence is the ability to move people from the place of complacency and compliance to a place where they willingly cooperate, collaborate and even champion the goal. Needless to say that I know that sometimes compliance is required and hence agree with Dwight D. Eisenhower that 

"Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it."

Proactive - be the strategic visionary who is able to envision and anticipate future needs, look ahead, be forward-thinking and translate goals and objectives into strategies, both short-term and long-term; and see all possibilities that you follow through to execution.
EWE:  John C. Maxwell puts it this way: "I believe that everyone chooses how to approach life. If you're proactive, you focus on preparing. If you're reactive, you end up focusing on repairing." 
Your tomorrow starts today so do today what will set you up for a better tomorrow and future. When you do that, you are a worthy and wonderful example for the leaders you are developing.

If you want to develop or just deepen your leadership skills, you can contact me for a free ½ hour Coaching or Mentoring Session. Send an email to: empoweredwomenexcel@gmail.com

Source: What Does It Take to be a Great Leader? By Rita Balian Allen

You can read my LEADER series:
L - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/01/leader.html
E - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/01/leader_28.html
A - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/02/leader_1.html
D - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/02/leader.html
E - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/03/leader.html
R - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/03/leader_15.html

L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P - (2 of 3)

This is the 2nd part of the article by Rita Balian Allen. Her article was really rich hence my splitting it into 3 parts.

You will notice that I have added my comments in green font and added pictures too.

Two of the top Ten Competencies of Leadership:

Energy, Enthusiasm and Eagerness - these 3 E’s always generate positive attitudes and optimistic thinking, resulting in high impact and motivation; this is contagious - if you embody positive energy, enthusiasm and eagerness in your everyday interactions, so will others
EWE: These 3 Es are key for engaging others so I want to dig in a bit here
- Energy - according to Google, "Energy is :the strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity." The word sustained is important in life and in leadership because you do not want things to start up on a high note and just stop short of achieving the set goal(s)/objective(s).
- Enthusiasm and Eagerness are synonyms and refer to the level of interest. It is difficult to make others more excited about a project than you are. It is also one thing to have the aptitude (ability/strength) to do something and another to have the right/positive attitude for it. 

Responsiveness to needs - anticipate the unexpected, take a big picture perspective, think differently and creatively, be a proactive problem solver, take into consideration the needs of all constituencies (peers, staff, managers, leaders, team members, customers, etc.) and the organization as a whole with the appropriate level of urgency
EWE: Responsiveness is a great trait and requires for leaders to be relatable. When you are relatable, people are more willing to highlight things that may go wrong before they so that there is time for a course-correction or complete change of direction.

If you want to develop or just deepen your leadership skills, you can contact me for a free ½ hour Coaching or Mentoring Session. Send an email to: empoweredwomenexcel@gmail.com

To be continued...

Source: What Does It Take to be a Great Leader? By Rita Balian Allen

You can read my LEADER series:
L - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/01/leader.html
E - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/01/leader_28.html
A - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/02/leader_1.html
D - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/02/leader.html
E - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/03/leader.html
R - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/03/leader_15.html

L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P - (1 of 3)

Talking some more about Leadership, you may remember that I published a series of posts 2 years ago titled: L.E.A.D.E.R (see links below). Being a lifelong learner, I was curious what others thought and found this article by Rita Balian Allen (@RitaBAllen) (and yes I got her permission to share this). Interestingly, we have 2 leadership skills in common. I added the pictures and my comments in green font.

Top Ten Competencies of Leadership:

Listening Skills - conducting and initiating dialogue that requires active and reflective listening; being attentive to what others are saying, asking good questions, obtaining accurate comprehension; focusing on the other person’s thoughts and perspectives; as well as strong interpersonal skills to maintain a productive and substantive dialogue

Emotional Intelligence - effectively communicating between the emotional and rational sides of our brain; EQ can be developed and is defined in four dimensions - self awareness (self-assessment), self-management (self control), social awareness (empathy) and relationship management (relationship building), according to psychologist and author Daniel Goleman 
EWE: For me, Emotional Intelligence is knowing how to lead others with your heart not just with your head. 
In my opinion, EI also referred to as EQ (Emotional Quotient) is the essence of this quote which has been attributed to very many people from Theodore Roosevelt to John Maxwell (italics mine): 
"People won't (actually don't) care how much you know until they know how much you care." 

Action-Oriented - leading by example and creating a culture that enacts values stated and achieves results; doing what you say you will do and what you ask of others; giving priority to the learning initiatives necessary to achieve desired results; and ultimately, having the ability to develop the people around you, encouraging growth, and risk-taking EWE: I believe that everyone has to have aspirations however, without action, you will never achieve those aspirations irrespective of how much you believe and how long you have conceived that aspiration for.

Diversity Awareness - endorsing a culture that understands and recognizes the importance of diversity for success; embracing the cultural, social and economic needs and differences within this diversity; providing positive influences and role modeling; and promoting the value-add of everyone 

EWE: For my thoughts on this, I welcome you to read my articles: 

Diversity and Inclusion

Variety is the Spice of life

If you want to develop or just deepen your leadership skills, you can contact me for a free ½ hour Coaching or Mentoring Session. Send an email to: empoweredwomenexcel@gmail.com

To be continued...

Source: What Does It Take to be a Great Leader? By Rita Balian Allen

You can read my LEADER series:
L - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/01/leader.html
E - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/01/leader_28.html
A - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/02/leader_1.html
D - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/02/leader.html
E - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/03/leader.html
R - http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/03/leader_15.html

Which are you?

Manager or Leader?

Can you?

That is a question that comes up now and again...as leaders we need to help those around us give the right answer.

You've got the power...

A few decades ago, I read this quote that has continued to light and even fire me up (pun intended) and this picture is definitely worth a thousand words:



I believe it is important to point out that this is a universal principle irrespective of gender. However, I'll just focus on women in this post since we are the target audience of this blog.

Lighting others up can occur in different ways. A few weeks ago I read someone's Birthday message to her father and she said: "...you taught me never to look down on anyone except to tie their shoes." What a powerful life lesson! Translating it means that we must never look down on any lady/woman except to "polish" their shoes. This reminded me of this quote: "Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world"* which I wrote** about a few years ago in a different context. 

The point here is that each of us can light up or empower others so they can pursue their dreams with passion and fulfill their purpose. A few years ago, when I volunteered as an Image Consultant with an organization that supports women***, it was amazing how taking the time to "polish the shoes" of the ladies we served made a significant impact on their confidence. A lot of them were competent but lacked confidence. Interestingly, a few weeks ago, I wrote about competence and confidence so I will not derail, feel free to read that prior post****.

Bottom-line: If you truly feel that "you've got it together"

- reach out, look down, look around and help someone else.

If you take only one thing away from this post, remember that:

Each of us has the power to #Empower others...

* Marilyn Munroe
** http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2016/11/show-me-your-shoes.html
*** http://makingchangesassociation.ca/
**** http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2018/05/are-you-competent.html

“I may not be what you are used to...

...so you need to get used to it.”

Last year when I heard this comment from a manager (and colleague), I smiled because I could relate with it. I remember so well - as if it happened yesterday...

Should you be competent...

...or just confident?

What interests my boss...

... fascinates me (I'm sure you already knew the end of that phrase).

Step up...

...don't sit back

The best woman is W.O.M.A.N

I've been wondering if I should post something to be published today...I finally decided that since I strongly believe that everyone deserves to be celebrated, each woman deserves to be celebrated especially when she is:
Winsome - "Winsome" means "attractive or appealing in appearance or character."* So, it's not enough to look good we must be truly good to ourselves and others in our attitude, behavior and character.
Openhearted - Note that I didn't say "open-mouthed." Being openhearted means that we are candid - not candied** - when we communicate with those around us. 
Model - When I say "model" I mean that we are an example to others. The most effective way of influencing others is by the way we live our lives. Be an outstanding role model.
Authentic - Now being authentic is a real challenge for some people (pun intended). It is sad to see how many people feel that they should "fake it till they make it." For each time you are faking something, you are losing time in being your full self and/or even learning how to be a better version of yourself.
Nourishing - Interesting one right? Well, "Nourishing" means providing "food" that helps with growth. I believe that the best women in the world are those that nourish and help others grow. One sure way of doing this is by empowering others and that's why that I cannot but agree with Kofi Anan, the Former Secretary-General of the United Nations, who incidentally turns 80 in exactly a month's time (on April 8th) who said:

References:
* Google
** http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2014/11/in-being-candid-dont-forget-to-be.html