...kind
I agree with Jack Welch that we should "be candid to everyone." Being candid, not "candied," is the best way to live and help others around us become better; however, being candid is not a licence to be unkind to others.
Judith Martin (also referred to as "Miss Manners") said:
"'Honesty' in social life is often used as a cover for rudeness. But there is quite a difference between being candid in what you're talking about, and people voicing their insulting opinions under the name of honesty."
As we prepare to discuss performance or provide feedback to others, be as candid and as kind as you can be. It is sad when people feel that their honesty should be harsh and hurtful. The flip side is when people avoid being candid and are candied, i.e. sugar-coated, in all they say. Such people are even more dangerous because we know sugar is bad for us (pun intended). You cannot empower others that way.
We must be like the Proverbs 31 Woman; I like the way she was described here:
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say,
and she always says it kindly.*
Whenever you speak, be candid and "Don’t say anything that will hurt others [let any rotten/unhealthy word come from your mouth], but only say what is helpful [good] to make others stronger [build others up] and meet [ according to] their needs. Then what you say will do good [give grace; be a gift] to those who listen to you."**
As we roll into year-end feedback season, lace your candidness with kindness...
References:
*Prov 31:26 MSG
**Ephesians 4:29 EXB
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