Are you connecting...

with more people or with people more? 

As a leader, which do you do?

Technology has definitely enabled more connections and connectivity but  I can't help but wonder if leaders are using technology effectively or conversely if they are effective in using it.

Your ASK...

...determines what you get.

Step out and step up

Read more here: Step out and step up

Who are you mentoring?

Many people think that they cannot be mentors. Nothing is further from the truth. Each one of us has something to give. In giving that, we get more to give more...

"You should talk to..."

Last year, I was talking to someone about some career matters and decisions. The person, "wisely", suggested that I talk to someone else - to get more information and possible guidance.

When I finally met the person, we had a good conversation that resulted in an interesting discovery. The more we talked, the more obvious it became that the person needed me more than I did. Instead of pulling back, I switched gears to my purpose in life which is to help others be their best selves.

Over a couple months, when I could, I was available as a mentor and a life coach. It was amazing all that I learned from this experience. Summing it up, to empower another person, you need to care.





To empower another person, it is important to make a Connection.
Making a real connection starts from your inside out. Over the years, I've found that my heart, head and hands have to be connected and aligned when relating to others. And the more connected they are, the more mutually-beneficial those relationships have been.







For external connection to exist, one has to be Approachable. Synonyms include: frank, accessible, communicative and easy to talk to. To be effective, you need to be a friendly face who is available, ready and easy to talk to. There's no value in being available to talk to if you are not ready or easy to talk to etc.   

The connection and approachability need to be unpinned by the Real you. Another and more common synonym for "real" is "authenticity" and all about being yourself. I like the way Edwin Elliot put the importance of authenticity: "By being yourself, you put something wonderful in the world that was not there before." When you do that, you empower others to do the same. 








Leaders have been encouraged to develop Emotional Intelligence as a way to better connect with others. Whether or not you accept it, we are all first emotional beings before we are intellectual beings. It's just that some family upbringing and societal norms suppress our emotional side and highlight our intellectual side.  Everyone, not just leaders, has to be emotionally intelligence. It is amazing how you can show true are with it. 

Looking back, these 4 attributes helped me in relating with and empowering very many people.

If you or someone you know needs CARE or needs to develop CARE, contact me for coaching via LinkedIn or email - 1st ½ hour will be free...

It's all up to you...

Over the years, and more recently when coaching my clients, I have heard people incessantly compare themselves to others - in various areas of life. Well, I have even caught myself doing that!

The point of life is that everyone has a unique "life-map", such that even identical twins cannot have identical lives. There is no basis for comparison. Comparison is a total waste of time because it makes you expend energy competing with others who are steadily improving themselves.

If you must compare yourself to and compete with anyone else, compare yourself to yourself - daily.

Who you are, or who you are not is all up to you. You have control over who you are and who you become. Look in the "mirror" and make the necessary adjustments to your attributes and attitudes.

The Act...

...and art of leading

When this topic dropped in my heart, I took a few weeks to mull over it. As I started writing it up, it seemed best to first define these words:

Act: "take action; do something. (verb); a thing done; a deed (noun)."*

Art: "the expression or application of human creative skill and imagination, typically in a visual form such as painting or sculpture, producing works to be appreciated primarily for their beauty or emotional power."*

A lot has been writing about leadership and it is a very important topic in my mind and experience.

There's the ongoing debate on whether leaders are born or made. In my opinion, everyone is a leader - it has nothing to do with whether you have a formal title or not. Taking it a step further, each of us can (and should) develop our leadership skills to become better leaders - of our selves and/or of others.

The ACT of leadership highlights the importance of doing something - anything to become a better person - and/or to help others become better versions of themselves...doing nothing is not an option.

The ART of leadership speaks to the importance of creativity in leading others. I have found that the best leaders show how to develop themselves (by example) and let others participate in their self-development. It's all about creatively applying yourself and demonstrating emotional power and emotional intelligence that appreciates and is appreciated by those who interact with you/them. 

 
Personally, combining the act and art of leading has made me a successful leader in the different areas and aspects of my life. It's a fruitful and fulfilling leadership path.

It would be my privilege to serve you and chat some more if you (and/or someone you know) need coaching in this area. You can reach me by email or LinkedIn.



Reference:
* Google (emphasis mine)

Life happens - now what?

“Life happens” – that’s a phrase that I have heard so many times in the last 5 or so years and wonder why some people use it as an excuse not to step up and be more.

No one can control what happens to them in life. You can only control your response to what happened to you. You always have a choice to become better or bitter when “negative” things happen to you. The fact that someone else got the job or promotion that you had always wanted is not a reason to become bitter. It should motivate you to keep working towards your purpose in life which is bigger than one job.

Have you ever wondered why you are here – at this time? Why were you not born decades earlier or later? 

“The two most important days in your life are 

the day you are born and the day you find out why.” 

~ Mark Twain

Discovering why you were born requires a lot of digging and is hard work. For this valuable work to be rewarding and sustainable, you need to be committed to discovering your purpose and pursuing it with passion.  To do this, you need to ask yourself some necessary questions over and over again - and taking specific actions based on the answers will lead you to living a fulfilled life.

If you need help with discovering your "Why", contact me via email or LinkedIn.

Show yourself...

...some love

How are you showing up?

This question came to mind as I found the answer to the question: What or who is the source of your strength(s)? It could be a combination of people and situations. And it is important to realize that strengths exist for a reason.

VIBE

What comes to mind when you hear the word: "Vibe"? Everyone gives off different vibes and I, like most of you, prefer positive vibes. There is nothing so good as being the source of positive vibes (feelings and energy) in a place - any & every place you are.

Personally, one way I succeed in doing that is by volunteering. If you ask me to define volunteering, I'd use VIBE as a acronym and say: Volunteering Is Being Empowering... 
Voluntering is all about giving of yourself to benefit others...so they can be better.

 I like the way Gillian Anderson puts it: 

"Be of service. Whether you make yourself available to a friend or co-worker, or you make time every month to do volunteer work, there is nothing that harvests more of a feeling of empowerment than being of service to someone in need." 

One thing I know is that women are almost always volunteering - their time, talents, ideas, ears, hands, shoulders and even tears. We need to realize how empowering those moments can be and maximize the value and virtue we carry around with us and/or spread at those times and places. The impact of volunteers is all around us. 

December 5 is International Volunteers Day as declared by the United Nations. So I join the world to thank you for volunteering - and thank you in advance for deciding to and continuing to volunteer. 

Spread the vibe!

P.S. 
If you need ideas on where and how to volunteer (strategically), feel free to reach out to me  via: 
- email: empoweredwomenexcel@gmail.com or 
- LinkedIn message: https://www.linkedin.com/in/adaadelekekelani/

Step up...

...don't sit back

The best woman is W.O.M.A.N

I've been wondering if I should post something to be published today...I finally decided that since I strongly believe that everyone deserves to be celebrated, each woman deserves to be celebrated especially when she is:
Winsome - "Winsome" means "attractive or appealing in appearance or character."* So, it's not enough to look good we must be truly good to ourselves and others in our attitude, behavior and character.
Openhearted - Note that I didn't say "open-mouthed." Being openhearted means that we are candid - not candied** - when we communicate with those around us. 
Model - When I say "model" I mean that we are an example to others. The most effective way of influencing others is by the way we live our lives. Be an outstanding role model.
Authentic - Now being authentic is a real challenge for some people (pun intended). It is sad to see how many people feel that they should "fake it till they make it." For each time you are faking something, you are losing time in being your full self and/or even learning how to be a better version of yourself.
Nourishing - Interesting one right? Well, "Nourishing" means providing "food" that helps with growth. I believe that the best women in the world are those that nourish and help others grow. One sure way of doing this is by empowering others and that's why that I cannot but agree with Kofi Anan, the Former Secretary-General of the United Nations, who incidentally turns 80 in exactly a month's time (on April 8th) who said:

References:
* Google
** http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2014/11/in-being-candid-dont-forget-to-be.html

A-B-C-D

What comes to mind when you hear the letters ABCD?

For most of us it will be "Above & Beyond the Call of Duty" - and rightly so too. However, the letters ABC popped in my mind as all we need to excel in our careers - "D" was added later.

So for this post, ABCD stand for Attitude, Brains, Connectedness, Determination.

A lot has been said & written about our attitudes and how they impact the rest of our lives. I even shared a few Attitude quotes over 3 years ago* When I think about "attitude" my favourite quote is:

"Your attitude, not your aptitude,

determines your altitude."**

Walter Scott's opinion is that: "For success, attitude is equally as important as ability." I believe Attitude is more important because attitude is about your perspective and response to people and things around you. It's good to have aptitude/ability (aka brains), but best to have a great attitude. A great attitude is what makes you humble enough to learn from others what you don't know - which leads us to "B."

B stands for Brains. To excel in your chosen career/job, you need to know and grow in your knowledge too. Having some knowledge is a good starting point...gaining more knowledge and skills is making progress. Anyone who wants to rely on all they knew...and don't want to know more/new things (pun intended), is already regressing because others will continue to progress. One way to progress/advance our knowledge and skill base is by the connections we have. So let's move to "C."

Connectedness is the wise realization that "no (wo)man is an island." We all need at least 1 other person in order to progress in life. It's one thing to stretch out your hand to connect with another person and another to know which outstretched hands you want to take a hold of.

It takes both discretion (using our brains) and Determination to stay connected with the right people. We also need determination to focus on self-improvement, despite the challenges we face, in order to advance your career.

So as you think about your career, think ABCD...and you'll experience success.

References:
* http://empowered-women-excel.blogspot.ca/2012/05/about-attitudes.html
** Zig Ziglar

"You're good at this."

"You can blame my mom."

What time is it?

Time management is a skill that any & every serious-minded person must have. Time, once lost, can never be recovered. Jesus knew and taught the importance of right timing. In John 7:6 & 8b, Jesus said: "This isn’t my time. It’s your time—it’s always your time; you have nothing to lose... It’s not the right time for me.”*

 

If you do things before your time, you'll very likely lose something. King Saul lost the kingdom because he went ahead of time to sacrifice rather than wait for Prophet Samuel as he was instructed to.**

 

On the flip side, if you do things after your set time, you'll have already lost - except God in His mercy restores what was lost in that time.***

 

I'm sure you've heard the saying that:

"Today is a gift - that's why it is called 'The Present.'"

Time is also a gift - that can be invested, spent, wasted or lost outright.

Time will always tell what you did with your time (pun intended). Put differently, "Today is the tomorrow, we talked about yesterday." (Anon)

 

There at least 2 things we need to know and note about time:

1. Everyone's time is different. Just as you cannot live by another city or country's time except you need to align your work to that time zone, likewise, you cannot use another person "timing" in life to determine or do what you need to do.   
2. You cannot create time, you can only manage it & put it to good use. Any time not put to good use is lost forever.

To make the best use of your time, you have to know what your priorities are, plan your work and work your plan.

With 90 days (Q1) gone forever,
What are your goals?
What are your priorities?
What are your plans?

"What time is it?" It is time to create your future...your future begins today..

References:

* MSG
** 1 Sam 13: 8-12
*** Joel 2:25-26 - I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the great locust, the grasshopper, and the caterpillar, my great army, which I sent among you.  You will have plenty to eat, and be satisfied, and will praise the name of Yahweh, your God, who has dealt wondrously with you; and my people will never again be disappointed. (WEB)

'"I" comes before...

"You", or even "U", in the dictionary.'

Are you on the leading edge...

...or on the bleeding edge?

All of us have an edge* in life. And some of us also we want to be on the leading edge in our careers. And rightly so. As we know "Leading edge" refers to having the most advanced position in an activity.

The challenge is that in trying to do a lot and more, we stretch ourselves. In doing that, there is a high tendency to overstretch. When we overstretch ourselves and then stress ourselves and before long, you've gone over from the leading edge to what I'll call the "bleeding edge."

I believe that the best way of remaining on the leading edge is by being the best version of you...and doing your very best each and every time. As Oprah Winfrey said:
"Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment."

As we start this brand new year, aim to be on the leading edge, not the bleeding edge. Do your best. Be your best. Give your best and you'll be the best you.

Welcome to your best year ever...may it be blest in every way. Happy New Year!

Footnote:
*An advantage - something we're better than others at.

Rooster reality

Q: If a rooster lays an egg at the very top of a slanted roof, which side is the egg going to roll off on?

Take a moment to think of your answer before you continue reading...

Be a PAL

A lot of us aspire to become leaders and that is great. However, too many people wrongly assume that a manager or supervisor is a leader, and that can't be further from the truth. There are many differences between Managers and Leaders, but these three stand out for me:

Managers are process-focussed while Leaders are people-focussed. One of my former managers - who's a leader indeed once told me "take care of your people and they'll take care of the work." I've found that to be true over and over again.

 Managers instruct while Leaders inspire - Leaders are visionary and inspire others to follow that vision while Managers are good at instructing people on what to do in order for the vision to be a reality. Managers work within a circle of power while Leaders operate with spheres of influence.

Being a manager is a career while leadership is a calling - the first time I read this it made sense and lined up with something I've always believed which is that the best way to get the best out of others (especially your reports) is to be a PAL (Passionate Authentic Leader). 

When you are a PAL, you care for people and want what is best for them. In other words, your compassion for people is your passion. That passion keeps you in check so you are authentic at all times - telling them the truth on what they do well and what they can do better  that authenticity breeds trust and makes you relatable. Being real and relatable attracts others to you and they want to follow you...